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Thank you, @nakedsoles, for twisting my social media arm and forcing me to give cauliflower rice a try again. Let’s get real, I’ll do anything you want me to (exceptsharenewclothes. itsalittlesisterthing). All jest aside, I have been making this rice substitute wrong forever…or since the one time I tried it and lost faith in vegetables for 6 years. The key is roasting it. Don’t steam it, you’ll hate your life and eat chicken nuggets to recover. All the nuggets. Don’t rush. Recovery takes time. Roasting gives it a firmer exterior and an al-dente interior which is a perfect rice imitation.


CAULIFLOWER RICE (original recipe)

  • 1 Head Cauliflower
  • Cooking Spray
  1. Preheat Oven to 350 F.
  2. Remove cauliflower florets and place in vitamix/blender/food processor. Pulse until finely chopped (~1 cm).
  3. Place on pan and coat in cooking spray. Shake pan a little and spread it all out.
  4. Roast for 15-20 mins or until some “rice” is brown.


STEAK STIR FRY (paleo friendly)

Once you get your rice going, you can move on to the easy part. Frying up your veggies. I never use the same veggies for stir fry, so feel free to get creative or use leftovers. Some interesting additions could be asparagus, watered chestnuts, bamboo shoots, leek, or even chopped cabbage.


  • 1 T coconut oil
  • 2 tsp minced garlic
  • 1 onion, chopped (big pieces)
  • 1 head broccoli
  • 1 c mushrooms (whatever kind. I had baby bellas)
  • 1 c chopped carrots
  • 1 T sesame seeds
  • 1 T mirin
  • 2 T teriaki
  • 1/2 lb sirloin steak, seasoned salt + pepper
  • 1 recipe cauliflower rice
  • 2 eggs


  1. Heat coconut oil over med/high heat, saute garlic until fragrant.
  2. Add onion, saute 2-3 mins.
  3. Add broccoli, saute 3 mins, add remaining veggies, sesame seeds, and mirin.
  4. Grill sirloin to medium rare ~2.5 mins/side. Remove from heat. (veggies still going). Rest 4-6 mins.
  5. Scramble two eggs, set aside.
  6. Chop steak to 1 in cubes. Should look delicious.
  7. Add teriaki to veggies and toss. Remove from heat, add steak.
  8. Mix scrambled eggs with cauliflower rice.
  9. Top egg/rice mixture with vegetables and steak.

imagesSIDEBAR: Buy your groceries on Wednesday! I’m a Sunday grocery shopper. Me and the rest of Northern Virginia. We all go to Wegman’s at 4:00 on Sunday and proceed to showcase the best of our East Coast personalities (#typeA, noonemovesheretowait, bitchthatsmysalmon. whobringskidstothegauntlet). If you had asked me to shop for groceries on Wed three months ago, I would have laughed in your face. Its not what I do. My week follows a strict formula. Sunday = groceries/meal prep. Monday-Fri = try to make it. Sat = drink. Now, I’d have to apologize to your imaginary and wise face. I’m a convert. We didn’t use up last week’s groceries until Tuesday because of our trip, which left me with a weekday run. Everything was SO CHEAP. Everything. Like 66% retail cheap. I bought so much meat because the deals were too good to pass up. Organic? Yes please. Lamb? Sure, why not? Two Cornish hens? My blog be flossin. \endsoapbox

Below are my eats for DAY 12. Stay tuned for the bolognese sauce recipe. I promise, its worth the wait.


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Don’t mind me, health junkies. I’ll be the one in the corner with the bourbon and fries.

Food During Hiatus

Following the much needed respite away from NOVA for skiing, my digestive system and liver decided vacation and friends are nice and we’re never coming back (dont tell the hubs).Whoever said all good things must come to an end really underestimated my perseverance.

The reality set in with joints, head, and pants buttons complaining on our trip to Baltimore this weekend. I may have been slathered lips to neck in gyro grease at the time, but that’s neither here nor there. Despite single-handedly funding bullet rye’s next batch, I did spend a lot of time cooking and have some great creations to share with you! So saddle-up bitches, this is Day 12. (weird that its 9 days after day 11…itsbourbonmath)

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Be back with some foodie goodness tomorrow!


One of the drawbacks of living in/around a major city is the cost of real-estate. Hence why our two-dog household resides on the second floor and why Miss Molly Moose may or may not use the balcony like a rest stop from time to time. I’m assuming its not the birds. Unless you’re my landlord. Its definitely the birds.

Its a good thing you're so cute. Otherwise, I'd make earmuffs out of you.

Its a good thing you’re so cute. Otherwise, I’d make earmuffs out of you.

The drawbacks, other than an insane neighbor, include a “no personal grill” policy which is equivalent to castration in the eyes of the hubs. For the first few months, we basically did without steak.



After the “d” word [divorceforyousingles] was thrown around a few times, we realized we needed to grow as individuals and find a way around our steak problem. Thus began the 8 month endeavor of figuring out how to cook the perfect medium rare hunk of meat on a skillet. #firstworldproblems

The key is pepper. Lots of pepper. All the pepper. For some reason, without something to separate the meat from the skillet and create a crust, the heat is too much and shrinks the contact area of the meat while cooking. Then there’s not great surface area to cook evenly. I’m an engineer. Heat is my thang.

Secondary to pepper is a good cut of steak. Pictured are 2.5-3″ thick fillets, but I use the same process for flank steak [4 min/side]. So start by peppering the fuck out of the top and bottom of the steak.

If you love yourself, wrap it in bacon. You can’t go wrong.

Now you’re ready to start cooking. Heat 1-2 Tbsp olive oil, per steak, over med-high in a THICK BOTTOMED, non-stick skillet. This isn’t something you want to do in your $4 walmart non-stick. What do you live in a trailer? Caphalon, ladies and gents.

Enter steak. Leave it ~5-6 min/side. Seriously, don’t touch at it. Don’t look at it. Leave it. Turn on the fan too because its going to burn your eyes as the pepper crusts. If your eyes are open, which they shouldn’t be. Stop looking at it. Steak is about trust.

After 5.5 mins, flip it, throw a pat of butter on top and repeat. At the 11 min mark pull it. Then repeat the 5 min no touching process on a plate, aka resting. Serve with some cab. While, I recommend this black cherry and mocha variety, you may want to ask some one classier.

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  • 1lb raw shrimp, shelled and deveined
  • 1/4 cup quartered cherry tomatoes
  • 1 zucchini
  • 1/4 cup tomato sauce
  • 4 oz mushrooms, sliced
  • 2 stalks celery diced
  • 1/4-1/2 green pepper, diced
  • yellow onion, diced
  • 1 tsp garlic
  • 1/4 cup banana peppers (or slightly less depending on your taste)
  • 2 tsp oil
  • parsley
  • salt and pepper


  1. Julienne zucchini to make noodles, set aside. (I use one of these.)
  2. Skillet fry the onion, bell pepper, garlic, and celery in 1 tsp oil.
  3. Add mushrooms until they release their liquid, ~5 min.
  4. Add tomatoes and banana peppers, cook 2 min.
  5. Add tomato sauce, parsley, salt, and pepper to taste, cook additional 3-5 min.
  6. Saute 1 tsp garlic in remaining oil, add shrimp and pepper. Cook until done ~ 3 min/side, pink, and opaque.
  7. Steam zucchini “noodles” for 2-3 mins. Remove from heat immediately. Drain and pat “noodles” dry.
  8. Layer zucchini with sauce and top with shrimp.

This was thrown together with our leftovers from the week, but turned out fresh and tangy tasting. Matt enjoyed it. I’m a little ODed on shrimp for the time being.

Below are my eats for the day. I didn’t measure dinner, but went over the 1/3 cup of rice. I think I gobbled down a whole cup before Matt caught me. #cantbetrusted




I made it the first seven and feel like I’m starting to hit my stride.


Biggest accomplishments: NO LEFTOVERS! Matt and I literally finished everything in our fridge at lunch today! I don’t think we’ve ever made it through a week with no food going bad. Definitely an accomplishment. Second gold star goes to sticking with PB. I joined the March Madness Challenge (21 classes in 30 days) and am looking forward to more.

Changes: I feel more energized and definitely have a more positive outlook on the process. I lost 3.6 lbs, but can see a difference mainly in the tightness of my stomach. I attribute this to PB. I think the muscles had forgotten how to work previously, so they’re actually waking from the dead in the second photo. Still – cool to see a change in such short time.

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I was a child of the 90’s. I was present for a bit of the 80’s, but my awkward, define-yourself-as-a-person years occupied most of the 90’s. I vividly remember roller-blading around my neighborhood, seductively (I thought) licking my flinstone’s push-up, in training bra and high-waisted jorts, gel pen clad legs screaming “I ❤ DH,” and white crop top that proudly sparkled “WHATEVER” at the poor oncoming traffic. While I’ve since ditched gel pens and jorts, and replaced the hope of marrying DH (mostly, firstcrushneverdies) with the actual hubs, some things stick around.

Case in point – flinstone’s push ups. While I don’t want to know what made up 90% of my after-school snacks, I can only assume that like everything else in the decade, it was predominately corn starch. Not haute, not healthy, butnowimhungry. After my 4th pure barre class and a 2 mi jaunt in the woods in 6 in of snow, I wanted something sweet. I wanted push ups. It took a while to get the proportions right, but here is the final rendition of the healthified flinstones smoothie. Tell me what you think over a game of pogs.




  • 5 tangerines
  • 1/2 banana, frozen
  • 8-10 ice cubes
  • 1 1/2 scoops vanilla protein powder
  • 1 Tbsp greek yogurt
  • 1/4 c. water


  1. Place ingredients, ice first, in high powered blender.
  2. Blend on med/high for 10-12 seconds. Tamper ice down if needed.
  3. Drink and reminisce while watching Clueless.

Below are my eats for the day. Progress update and week one review tomorrow!


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Craving some stick-to-your-ribs comfort food on your snow day? Come over. I will make one pot for you and one pot for me. Friendship means no judgement when I don’t share. This is easily the hubs’ and my favorite recipe to date. I made it with a little potato thinking I’d have to warm him up to the idea, but not necessary! (which is good for paleo followers). I’ll be experimenting with more hash combinations this week so stay tuned. I think this would have been even better [if that’s even possible] topped with a fried egg.


  • 1 lb ground beef (90% OR LOWER)
  • 1 small yellow onion, chopped
  • 2 cups carrots, shoe string sliced
  • 2/3 cup hash browns
  • 2 tsp parsley
  • salt/pepper to taste
  • 2 Tbsp minced onion
  • 2 Tbsp minced garlic
  • 2 tsp red pepper flakes
  • dijon mustard for topping


  1. Brown ground beef in thick-bottomed skilled over med-high heat. Add half the seasonings to the meat while cooking.
  2. Remove ground beef from skillet, leave rendered fat.
  3. Fry up your veggies in the rendered beef fat (~6-8 mins). Its important to press them down to get them to brown. You really want crunchy parts. Add remaining seasonings.
  4. Return beef to skillet and toss.
  5. Top with dijon mustard.

Make sure you press the veggies against the pan to sear.

Aside from eating WAY TOO MUCH HASH on day four, I was really looking forward to my day off PB! I’ve really enjoyed it, but my body was ready for a break. I’ll be back to it on Saturday! Below are my daily eats, and amazing lunch.



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What is your least favorite childhood food? The one you remember performing theatrical gagging to at the dinner table to communicate to your soulless parents that your body was simply biologically incompatible with that food. Mine was brussel sprouts (or peas, or spinach, or iceberg lettuce, take your pick. iwaspicky. nowonderigotfat.). Whether it was bad cooking or just general childhood stubbornness that caused the aversion, there are too many benefits to reacquainting with our childhood culinary adversaries not to try.


So brussel sprouts. Aside from being polly-pocket sized cabbages and looking freaking adorable, there are many health benefits to consuming these baby bad boys. For one, heat treatment, aka cooking, doesn’t alter their detoxifying properties (much)! [1] Meaning, all of those raw foodies can suck it because it doesn’t matter when it comes to brussels. Second, they are a good source of protein for a veggie. One cup has only 38 calories and 3 grams of protein. [2] The eating regime I’m following is all about protein and if you want to know why…ask someone smarter…or just trust me, it works. They also have loads of antioxidants, vitamin C, blahblahblahimbored. Steam them for max fiber benefits (but an icky taste), or toss them in olive oil with some sea salt and pepper and roast for 10 minutes on 350 F and dig in.

crane medicineSIDEBAR: For me, the coolest part of Crane Medicine’s article was when he said, “Virtually no-carb foods, like meat and eggs, while low on the glycemic index, measure high on the insulin index. They don’t spike blood sugar, but they do raise insulin levels.”

If you need more reasons to variegate your veggie intake, read on, young philomath, read on. I absolutely adore TED talks. Here is one of my favorites and a big motivation for getting creative and branching out with your veggies. Dr. Terry Wahls presents how to properly fuel your body using lessons she learned at the subcellular level. I sat a Barnes and Nobel two weeks ago and devoured half her new book on fueling your body to overcome autoimmune disorders. She used nutrition to overcome MS and free her from a wheelchair. Crazy!

Below are my stats for the day. FYI – three days in a row of PB is too much. I decided in the first 5 minutes to really push myself and immediately got a cramp in my shoulder. Nothing says beastmode like having to put down your two pound weights.

Also, feast your eyes on my lunch and try not to envy.



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Do this. Do it today. Bathe in it. This is last night’s dinner recipe. Yesterday, the hubs g-chatted me about 20 recipes for shrimp (subtle much?) so guess what we had for dinner. This was a gem amidst a lot of food that was too hard to modify to fit my plan.



Head over to the Paleo Newbie for the full recipe. If you are doing low fat, lowering salt, or limiting AI foods, you can make these adjustments: 1 tsp old bay, 1/2 tsp coconut oil, 3 oz. lf turkey kielbasa, no salt added, increase pepper, no red pepper flakes. I would also nix the chicken broth. It was a weird addition and the dish doesn’t need it.

Here are my eats for the day. It wasn’t ideal, but I made it through day 3. I’ve had a killer headache for a few days and am missing my best friend advil like crazy.


We met friends for dinner to watch the Virginia game at Hooters. I knew it was going to be a challenge to find something doable on the menu. I opted for the garden salad, no cheese, no croutons, no dressing, with grilled chicken and buffalo sauce on the side. Not bad.

Pure Barre class two was killer.

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